Nativity Scene Tape
Tiring of comfort and joy? Certain poor shepherds westward leading, still proceeding? Stop them at the threshold with Winstanley Brand nondenominational Nativity Scene extra virgin barrier tape. Lets in nothing you dismay. Some assembly required. See owner's Emanuel for directions. Harmful if swaddled. Inn door use only. One size fits stall.
Tiring of comfort and joy? Certain poor shepherds westward leading, still proceeding? Stop them at the threshold with Winstanley Brand nondenominational Nativity Scene extra virgin barrier tape. Lets in nothing you dismay. Some assembly required. See owner's Emanuel for directions. Harmful if swaddled. Inn door use only. One size fits stall.
Tree Stick(tm) One-Step Holiday Tree Water Test.
Endorsed by Pine Daly, Juniper Lawrence, Spruce Willis, General Douglass MacArthfir, Leslie Cedar, Sean Conifer, Nate Larchibald, Alec Balsam, Robert Redwood, Katniss Evergreen, Heather Hemlocklear, Amanda Pines, Juniper Aniston, Sequoia Jackson with special thanks to Cypress Hill and Yew2.
Endorsed by Pine Daly, Juniper Lawrence, Spruce Willis, General Douglass MacArthfir, Leslie Cedar, Sean Conifer, Nate Larchibald, Alec Balsam, Robert Redwood, Katniss Evergreen, Heather Hemlocklear, Amanda Pines, Juniper Aniston, Sequoia Jackson with special thanks to Cypress Hill and Yew2.
4oz can of Winstanley Brand Holiday Tree.
Packed in Heavy Syrup. Made with Real Wood! And of course, packed by real Canadians.
Packed in Heavy Syrup. Made with Real Wood! And of course, packed by real Canadians.
Ingredients: Water, sodium posphate, carerageenan, folic acid, monosodium glutemate, St. John's wort, ferrus sulfate, Ferris Bueller, ferris wheel, aluminum oxide, eye of newt, Newt Gingrinch, extracts of holly berry, Halle Barry, Barry Gibb and Yule Gibbons, natural and artificial pine flavors, fragrances, red dye #2, green #14, less than 2% real wood particles. May contain nuts.
Elf Trap. Because they're magically pernicious.
You switch on a light and discover a horde of the little buggers behind a door all giggly and gay. And if you see one, you probably have thousands. Don't waste money on so-called professional elf exterminators - the infestation can be controlled with Winstanley Brand Elf Traps. Just bait with anything shiny (silver bells are a favorite) and leave by the baseboards. The little dickens will think it's some kind of new playtoy and wander right in. Please recycle. Screaming usually fades in about an hour.
The Original TannenBalm.Topographical lip tincture of tinsel. Postpranidal pucker physick.
A most excellent cure for cookie-lip. Confounds insolence and encourages cheer.
A most excellent cure for cookie-lip. Confounds insolence and encourages cheer.
